Betrayal

The men waited quietly amongst the trees that flanked either side of the road.  The sun has already sunk beyond the eastern horizon, the dark swallowing up the remnants of light still lingering from the setting making way for a twilight that will usher in dusk.

Varlain, crouched closer to the tree line, was the first to sense the wagon approaching the roads northern bend.  His instincts were valued amongst the band, with the guards doubled along this route he always anticipated when the soldiers were near or when it was the best to strike.

All in all there were thirteen members in the band, the gang refers to themselves as the Renegades of Sucz, a band of thieves well known for liberating gold from the corrupt politicians and wealthy socialites who prey on the weak and poor of Sucz.

The leader of the band was Felixant, Varlain being his second.  The pair were childhood friends, practically brothers, both orphans they grew up on a farm that took in lost children.  As teens the farm was confiscated by the local magistrate for failure to pay their outrageously high taxes.  Taking in children was tough on the old couple so keeping the kids fed and running the farm they constantly fell short of the increasing tariffs.  The older children were forced into the kings army and the smaller kids were brought to do manual labor for the kingdom.

The best friends kept in line during their time in the royal guard biding their time and remembered their training. During a small squirmish with a group of citizens who were forced out of their homes, Felixant and Varlain turned on their troop by protecting the evicted citizens, then fled the kingdom as traitors to hide in the Whitewynne forest.

Now they gathered an assortment of outcasts and bandits to try what little they can to tip the balance of greed in their kingdom.

as soon as the wagon came into view Varlain sensed something was off.  However their leader was working on good authority that the magistrate was moving newly collected tax gold from Parmond to be delivered to the royal treasury.  It was purposely disguised as a poor transport to ward off possible thieves, but Felixant has a contact within the magistrate that passes along sensitive information for a small cut of the loot.

Varlain ignored his instinct and took his position as the wagon drew near.  Around him the undergrowth shifted as the rest of the team moved in on queue.  As soon as the wagon came within a few feet of Varlain, he leapt onto the side railing as two of the other men in waiting quickly overtook the driver.  They gave him a swift knock on the head, their motto being least violence as possible, a condition strongly implemented by Varlain before forming the band with Felixant.

However as soon as Varlain ducked behind the canopy, one of the other band slide his sword into the gut of the driver and tossed him over the side.  The two men looked at each other briefly then to Felixant, who was slowing the horses, nodding his approval to his men.

Inside the wagon Varlain quickly lit a torch to get at their score, as the light flared on the wagon came to a halt.  Instead of seeing a man guarding the gold, there were two women dressed in white robes, their heads covered with a white shall.  They crouched in the corner of the wagon clutching each other.  One was young and very pretty, the other was a much older but handsome woman.

Quickly recovering from his shock, Varlain held the torch over his shoulder and his free hand out, palm up, to show he meant no harm.  Taking one step forward, the older woman jumped up and put herself between him and the young lady.

"No, wait, I mean you no harm." Varlain said in a soft voice as to not startle the women, "There has been a mistake..."

Before he can finish the sentence one of the men responsible for taking out the wagon's driver, forced himself through the canvas that separated the rider's bench and the front of the wagon.  Now standing behind the old woman, he towered over the younger one still crouched on the floor.  Laughing he plunged his sword into the back of the older nun, Varlain witnessed the business end of the weapon exit the woman's chest.  Words caught in his throat as he made eye contact with her, in that moment he saw forgiveness in her eyes, as she may have understood that the young man before indeed did not mean them harm.  Before she fell, she looked down to her right as if to signal Varlain to protect the other one.  Then she collapsed, dead before she hit the ground.

"NO!" the words finally escaped Varlain's, which was puncuated by a shrill scream from the younger nun.

Ignoring Varlain the other man turned around and stood over the young lady, her voice already lost from her high pitched wailing.  The man laughed as he undid his buckle.  Varlain did not hesitate, he moved to take out the vulgar band member, his hand moving to the hilt of his sword.  However just before he can make his move, two more band members entered the wagon from behind Varlain, they leaned in and grabbed the unsuspecting man by his legs, yanking back sharply.  The sudden tug forced Varlain to fall flat on his face, all too quick to give him time to break his fall.  His chin hit the floor of the wagon taking the full force of the drop.

Stunned the two men dragged him into the already dark night, causing his head to bang on the ground once again.  This time the fall practically knocked him out.  The rest of the events was a muffled blur.  He can just make out the silhouetted of the rest of the band overtaking the wagon.  He heard the loud CLACK as someone broke the lock on the chest, followed by the cheers of several men, then finally the screams of the young nun a she was violated.

He felt himself losing consciences as he was dragged by the feet far away from the wagon.  Every time he forced his eyes open he was several feet further.  The next time he came to he was being rolled into the brush off to the side of the road.  He heard someone call out, and the man handling Varlain paused to listen.

"Make....quick," he heard partly of what the distant voice yelled out, a voice he knew since he was six years old, Felixant made the call to have his long time best friend executed on the side of the road.

Varlain tried to turn over, to plead for his life.  However the other man had the advantage and kept one foot on his back, keeping him from making a move.

Felixant watched from the wagon as Dagon raised his sword and brought it down swiftly.  A tear fell across his cheek, "I’m sorry brother," the leader said to himself, "but your morals is getting in the way." he finished turning away from the sight and backed to the wagon.

Dagon looked over his shoulder as Felixant turned around and climbed into the wagon.  He then yanked his sword out of the dirt inches away from Varlain's neck.  He then crouched onto one knee and leaned in close to his fallen comrade, and whispered in his ear.

"You saved my life once young Moolie," he said in his thick Gorlanian accent, using a nick name he used for Varlain, which meant son or my child in his tongue, "Disappear, for the next time we meet I will kill you."  he finished by knocking Varlain on the head with the hilt of his sword.

Darkness overcame the fallen man as Dagon stood up and made his way back to the remainder of the band.

  ©2013 Kinse, My Sweet Hero

NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month

Check out my NaNoWriMo novel (in progress)

http://tiny.cc/ARtaA

Grant and Dixie

"Will it hurt when...." not being able to complete the sentence Dixie trailed off, tears she so forcibly held back ow free flows down her cheeks.

Grant held onto her her tightly as she looked away from his sullen gaze.

"No sweets, it will be like going to sleep, but..." now it was his turn to discontinue.  

He would give anything to take this away from her, anything to let it only be him and not this precious little gift to this broken world.  After several of minutes of crying Dixie looked up at her long time friend, if it had to be the end it could not be any better with her long time friend.

Grant looked back at the miniature figure cradled in his beefy arms, he himself stood an inch 
below three feet, tall for his kind, but towered over his friend by two thirds.  As he gently stroked her wings, a commonly soothing gestured between the two, she gave him the best smile she can muster under the circumstances.  A grin reserved only for him.

They sat there for hours, as Dixie slept in his arms.  He stayed awake admiring the love of his life, careful not to wake her he stared out over to the east watching his last sunrise he contemplates a possibility of an afterlife, he fantasizes an eternity with  is favorite little pixie.  Running through the vastness of the elysian fields.  Exploring many new worlds and going on adventures each more extraordinary than the last.

"A with the old ones my sweets our time here is finished."  Dixie stirred slightly in his arms, he stroked her tiny face "shh sleep my love, sleep."

As the light of the morning sun crept up to their place on the grassy hill, the lifetime friends were no longer there.  In their place a bed of sunflowers had sprung up marking the only sign of the unlikely friendship of a Gnome and a Pixie.

Epilogue:

New York City, the street packed with the array of taxis and other commercial vehicles, as the city's morning commuters bustled about making their way to the various jobs that ruled their short lives.  A packed Time Square no one paid attention to the faces masses that shared the sidewalks, so the sudden appearances of an unusually small in a grey three piece suit and bowlers cap went completely unnoticed.

Brandishing a walking stick the tiny gentleman made his way through the sea of legs.  Walking a straight path he seemed to avoid any collisions.

A small girl around seven or eight did in fact see the doll sized man and with a smile lighting her face of wonder only someone her age can behold she attempts to gain the attention of her mother, who at the time was preoccupied by a small device seemingly attached to her ear, only tugged the girl along the way.

The small stranger simply returned the grin of the girl and tipped his hat to her gaining a renewed cheeky grin.  He made his way east 46th street whistling a tune from a long forgotten song without a care in the world.

Sent from my jPad

  ©2013 Kinse, My Sweet Hero

Dead Lover

Once as beautiful as herself her lover shared the night

Her love for him so powerful he lit up her darkest night

He would visit her seven times a year

They would make love under Sol and spend the night lost in each other

He returned to his spot to bask in her beauty while she spins below his shadow

Now and then he tugged on her sides teasing her 

Aroused she hid her blushes with the autumn leaves

During the winter months she grew cold at the apex of his departure

But when his visit grew near the was a Spring in her step

And his love alone warmed her spirits 

Tears of joy washed over her anticipating his arrival

Tears of sorrow knowing his visit would be brief

Over the millennium his visits grew shorter as the distance between them lengthen

Even during his visits the light in his eyes dimmed

She knew the old ones soon will depart

The effect on her lover would be immense

His ailing health a product of their departure

If he goes he will live but without him she will spin off into a chaotic death

If he stays he will perish but at least he will see her until his dying breath

And what remains of him will sustain her for million of years to come

Now when she watches the night sky she sees the body of the one she loves

So dearly and so completely a reminder of what they used to have

"I love you my sweet moon" she whispers as his body passes along a predictable path

She cannot scorn the old ones for even thought their departure sealed his fate 

They needed to see to the lives of the children who they left behind will flourish

So she continues to live on as their children rape and destroy the body that was once worshiped byt the moon and the stars

  ©2013 Kinse, My Sweet Hero

Impression

We stood at the entrance of the club as we waited for Stacey to get off the phone.  She was having another argument with her boyfriend and this time it seemed brutal.

The security at the door was beginning to get impatient he may have to turn us away, Donna was trying to will Stacey off the phone with the crazy “c’mon already” look she does.

It is five of us, NYU students, out on a girl’s night celebrating Stacey’s 21^st birthday.  Of all days Steve chooses now to pull one of his bull headed acts, originally he was supposed to be taking her out to dinner but never showed up.  After waiting two hours for the jerk we kidnapped Stacey to make sure this night was awesome. 

But Steve chooses now to return her call, he completely forgot, surprise, and found a way to blame her, another surprise.  Albeit Stacey is furious, she is a simple chic, but my gods she has quite the temper.

Donna is Stacey’s childhood friend, they were buddies in since birth, and they lived in the same apartment building one floor apart.  If it wasn’t for Donna black with a rich dark chocolate skin and Stacey a pasty while red headed Irish gal you would think they were identical twins by their mannerisms, how they complete each other sentences, and almost have a psychic connection to know when the other is in trouble.

I would not believe it myself if I have not witness this phenomenon in action.

Sue and Mary joined us, all from the same dorm floor we quickly started our own clique from freshmen year.  Now three years later we are standing in front of Sha-Bang, the hottest club at the moment, looking all sexy about to be let in and the patience of the bouncer only can go so far on our looks.

When Stacey started drifting toward the corner, Donna followed suit.  The three of us gave up our spot, who are we kidding they’ll let us in when we flash the big guy our ruby red smiles, and moved to catch up with the other two.

Stacey was about twenty feet ahead of Donna about to turn the corner when she screeched at her iPhone in rage obviously hanging up and stomped off disappearing around corner.  Whenever she gets furious enough she prefers to be left alone, most of the time stomping off and reappearing and hour later cool as a cucumber.  However although the club is exclusive, the neighborhood is iffy and Donna, as well as she can in her tight skirt and six inch heels,  attempted to speed up to catch Stacey before getting to far.

Donna stopped at the corner looking confused, when we arrived we found out why.  Stacey managed to disappear.  Donna called out without success Mary and Sue moved across the street to see of she was sitting on a stoop there as Donna and I moved down the one side.

“Out of all the fucked up times for her to pull this shit” Donna commented with apparent anger, but I could hear the underlying concern.

“I think we should wait back at the corner” I respond, “In case she returns, there is a couple of alleys here and a side street she can easily take to come up the other side of the club.”

Donna nodded and we turned around.  I looked over to the others and they were already taking our hint.

“What the hell?” Sue asked as the two approached.

Donna shook her head, “She wouldn’t do something this dumb unless Don seriously pissed her off.”

We all shifted in place looking away uneasily.  For some time we suspected that Stacey’s boyfriend, Don, was cheating on her, never admitted it.  Donna had attempted to broach the subjected with her best friend, it ended up causing a rift in their friendship for two weeks.  She was in love, blinded by what they shared for a week in the Catskills.  He was too sweet to her, in a romantic cabin stuck in a power outage due to Sandy hitting NYC, surrounded by candles, still caught up in the moment.

Donna looked obviously concerned, not only was her friend distressed about a serious relationship issue, now she is wandering the streets of New York.  I stepped beside her and tentatively placed my hand on her back.   Sue and Mary instinctively moved in closer.  All of us peering down the block.

At this point Donna slipped her iPhone from her pocket and speed dialed Stacey. 

“Dammit” she exclaimed when the call obviously went straight to voicemail.  Without waiting for the greeting to complete; she forcibly thumbed the red ‘End Call’ button and slammed the phone to her side.

Not knowing what to do next she took a half step toward the block, I moved my hand to her shoulder to stop her.

“Donna wait” I said “I will look for her, you wait here”.

Without responding she stepped back.  Sue and Mary looked to me, I shook my head slightly as to say stay with her, and made my way in the direction I guessed Stacey took.

The block was short and I was at the other intersection in less than a few minutes, I peered over my shoulder and saw Donna on the phone again this time waving her free hand franticly.  It seems she changed gears and called Steve, tearing him a couple of new ones.  Seems like I the safe decision to seek out our lost girl friend, Donna’s wrath can be a bit uncomfortable, I feel for the ones I left alone with her.

A shuffling noise around the corner at this end of the intersection caught my attention.  Looking over I spy two men jogging off around the next corner.  Something of that scene seemed real suspect.  The men seemed to be trying to catch up with someone.

Hoping that someone was not Stacey I cautiously made my way toward the direction they were headed.

As I made my way around the next corner I already see the three men at the other end about to turn the next corner, they are joined by three more making them a group of five.  Almost completely out of sight two hung back, moving back down the block, toward me!

My heart pounding I ducked into the doorway of a now closed drycleaners, the inset of the entrance way before the door giving me enough cover.  Great place to keep from view, but a horrible trap if I were spotted making an easy prey.

After a few breathless moments, nervously my hand made its way my necklace.  Whenever I get agitated I always fiddled with charm around my neck.  A gift from my mother with a simple note that it was a family heirloom.

Grasping the jewelry I dared to peak from my cubby hole.  Relieved the two men didn’t notice me, but were more interested with something down a nearby alley way. 

Or someone!

Quickly I started to feel sick, the worst came to mind that Stacey may have been hiding down the alley and these to animals were in pursuit.  I felt sick, my legs were cemented to the ground.  Screaming in my head to move forward, to run down the alley, but what if?

What if Stacey was nowhere near here? What if the other three decide to return? What if…

It was all I can do to keep from hyperventilating, I held onto my necklace, feeling the smooth side of the back of the jade as the figure carved on front bit deeply into the palm of my hand.  All I can do is close my eyes, clasping the figure, the necklace threatening to break off, I counted to ten attempting to bring calm.

One, my heart beat so fast I shook with terror

Two, I hear only the blood rushing to my head

Three, my mouth clamped shut I wanted to cry out to my mother

Four, attempting to control my heart rate I slowly drew in my next breath

Five, released

Six, I drew in the next one even slower

Seven, sound slowly returned from outside

Eight, released the bad air

Nine, heard a slight scuffle come out from the alley

Ten, this time I easily took my next breath with control

With complete serenity I opened my eyes, looking at an ad on the other side of the doorway for an underground rave from long ago, I released my amulet.  The jade monkey figure almost stuck to my palm fell away back between my breasts, leaving an impression of a face with its eyes covered. 

I left the alcove ignoring that once feared alley and walked back to the club.

As I turned down the corner where my group waited I caught Stacey sitting at the curb hands to her face as if trying to hide from the world.  A dark figure was stepping away from her. 

Donna broke my trance as she cried out upon seeing her best friend, looking at them for a mere millisecond, I quickly looked back for the stranger, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Donna.” Stacey called out and her friend responded by bending over and hugging her.  Sue and Mary moved in the tension melting away, I moved in closer as the two on lookers giggled.

I in turned smiled, the idea of a dark figure melted away.

  ©2013 Kinse, My Sweet Hero

You Know

"I think I would rather be a man than a god. We don’t need anyone to believe in us. We just keep going anyhow. It’s what we do."  ~Shadow (American Gods, by Neil Gaiman) 

Getting Back Up

Tuesday September 9th

I got the job!!!

It has been exhausting several months, begging borrowing getting back on my feet. Proving to my family that I can be trusted. 

I know they are still a bit skeptical, rehab was a nightmare, shit there were plenty of times I wanted to give up, how I could expect my family to believe in me when I could not believe in myself. 

So after several interviews and trying to convince total strangers I can be trusted I was finally hired by a solid firm.

Sure they pride themselves on giving people second chances, after all the chance I had in life I did not hold my breath for this one. 

It's funny several of the interviews I went on prior I had great feelings for, only to be disappointment after no return calls, but this one was tough, I thought for sure they would not get back to me, but they want me to start this coming Monday, as long as i pass their drug tests (for once in my adult life I am not concerned at all, i will be peeing in a cup with a grin).  

Wednesday September 10th

Had lunch with my father and sister this afternoon. My mom didn't show, I wasn't surprised. 

I scraped together what I can find so I can pay. I know I will be struggling even with a paycheck, but I wanted to show I can take care of myself.  

Anyway the lunch was to give them the news about the job, Lizzy was so happy for me. My little sister, she always saw the best in me, even when I thought I was lost, her sweet innocent face always looked up to me like I can do no wrong. 

She is still so young, but growing up so fast, being eleven years older i remember so clearly the day they brought her home, I was so excited to have a little sister. Seeing her respect for me in her eyes alone makes my decisions the past year and a half so so worth. Anything less from now on would kill. 

She will be seventeen in December. I am planning to live off of Rama noodles till then so she can have a sweet birthday, not enough will make up for the ones missed or the shit I put her through over the years. But it won't stop me from trying. 

And papa, seeing the pride in his eyes this afternoon nearly brought me to tears. No I'm not going to lie, I wept like a baby when he hugged me and gave me a kiss on each cheek.   

They held onto my every word, little Lizzy made me tell the story of the interview twice. 

We briefly talked about mama, pops tried to excuse her, I knew the truth, I understood. I will keep trying, one day I will go back home on my knees and beg for her forgiveness.   But I need to forgive myself first. 

After pop insisted on paying, he can be so stubborn sometimes, but in the end he saw in me that I needed to do this, a small token but letting me take the check was a very tiny thing but it meant respect. 

I returned to the halfway house with a skip in my step, i even were the shirt and tie i were to the interview (only ones I got). 

Thursday September 11th

So I had that dream again, THE dream. 

It's after 3AM, I don't know if I can't go back to sleep or just don't want to. So I am writing to distract myself from my nightmare. 

In a few short hours i have to stop by my new job to take the drug test. I don't want to show up sleepy, but I am afraid to drink coffee in the morning as to not skew the results or take sleep aide for the same reason. 

I am going to try my sleep again. 

------

So peed in a cup. Yeah not the best opener for my journal but I am happy that this is the first that i am worried that something I did a week, a few days, or even a night ago would haunt me. 

Still a bit tired, after i check in with my PO i think i am going to take a nap. Might as well take advantage of my free time I am planning to work a shitload of hours! 

After pissing in the cup I ran into ms moira, the lady who interviewed me, she seems a hell of a lot nicer now then during the interview, i basically volunteered myself on three different projects. I know I may have but off more than I can chew, but if i throw myself into it it's sink or swim, right?

I thought at first it was a small law firm, but the office i interviewed in was just an annexed office from a larger firm. My first job is to help catalogue and pack records to move to the larger building. 

Ms Moira is going to point me in the right direction to get my bachelors. Getting my associates was very difficult, I can use all the help I can get. 

I am looking forward to starting work on Monday, if it was not for my own lawyer doing pro bono work, working his ass off for me cause he saw my potential, i think this is what i want so I can give back. 

I guess i got a lot of people to thank and to apologize to. If it were not for that night though i don't think I would be here writing this.

------

Meeting with Burke, my PO, went okay as usual, through me off by a surprise drug test, so twice today I got to pee in cups. 

He barely gave me an 'uh huh' when i told him i got a job, without even making eye contact he pushed a form in front of me to fill out. 

You know I was piss at first but then I realized I have nothin to prove to him, fuck I ain't got nothin to prove to anyone but myself, so with pride i filled out his form giving the details of my new employment. I already disclosed to the firm my records, I'm gonna do this right, won't hide nothin won't lie about Shit so no shit will come back to bite me in the ass later. 

Afterwards I thought about officer Burke, he probably sees so many low lives pass through his office, most makin promises none succeeding, I thought I had it bad but this poor Schmuck had to witness the low point of humanity. 

Looks like those critical thinking and humanities classes paid off. Note to self, after my probation is over a year from now I will pay Burke a visit and show him at least one person can change. 

Friday September 12th

Fuck!!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

The firm called me this morning, they said they had a mix up with some paper work and the position was no longer available. 

Jesus, what is this worth it?  Why am i fucking trying? Why didn't you just kill me two years ago? 

I should have died, if this is my karma working against me because of all the shit did and what i did that night, i might as well be dead I might as well go to hell then live through this hell on earth. 

Fuck this shit, thought writing would help , thought by putting it on paper would...

just fuck

Saturday September 13th

I almost used today. 

I risked going down to the old neighborhood to score. I ignored the old haunts, the gangs, and that alley way. 

I had the rock in my hand, my last twenty was already exchanged hands and the rock was handed off to me by the currier.  

I started east to the only place I can take this hit unseen, an abandoned building that was marked 'condemned' years ago, now riddled with junkies so far gone that this was their only place of refuge to get high. 

I wanted to go there so I can get lost in the sea of faceless zombies and just melt away. Too cowardly to just straight up take my own life, but to end it in a blissful high. 

Unsurprisingly the building was still there, cops occasionally raid the place, most of the time the junkies get advance warning, but in the end the police leave them to their devices, as long as we are killing ourselves and not others (I guess)

The back entrance loose board access is still present, getting in was easy. 

I only had one thing on my mind was to shoot up and get lost in my own head. 

Without even realizing it I automatically made my way to the corner my old gang used to occupy. 

No old memories surfaced. 

A  bedroom in once was a two bedroom apartment, the other bedroom long ago got lost into the neighboring apartment with walls being torn away by time, neglect, and vandals. 

Immediately i noticed I was not alone, on the far corner was a dark shape lost in his or hers own wonderland.

I just made myself 'comfortable' in the opposite corner knowing my roommate was in no condition to mind. 

I slid my back down the wall and sat on the floor bringing my knees to my chest. Soon my eyes adjusted to the darkness as I unwrapped my prize. 

While opening the baggy, a loud snort caught my attention, I quickly looked toward the figure in the corner. From what I can make out he was facing me, his eye appeared to be open and staring at me or in my direction. 

He looked awfully familiar. 

Trying to ignore the man who had no care for me at all, I went back to the task at hand, but I could not shake the mystery of this stranger. 

Finally giving into my curiosity I leaned forward going to my hands and knees (still gripping the drugs in my right fist) I slowly crawled across the room so I can get a better look.  

My God!!!! It was Carlos, shit fucking Carlos!!!

He was in bad shape, real bad shape. 

Looking at my old friend immediately brought those suppressed memories of that fateful night to the surface. 

Me leaning over that poor girl, Carlos standing behind me, laughing, laughing at the disgusting thing I was about to do to that innocent angel. My god I am a monster!

I was monster. 

Remember looking over my shoulder after Carlos grew unusually silent, to see that dark figure in my peripheral, the one that haunts my nightmares till this day,  then flying through the air. 

I could have died that night, fuck I should have died. It would have been the least I deserved. 

Finally waking up on the roof of an apartment building ten blocks away. I would have past it off for a drug induced dream if it were not for that hand shaped bruise on my shoulder that took weeks to heal. 

Snapping out of my daydream, still on my hands and knees I lifted my right fist, forced it open and looked at the contents in disgust then chucked it against the wall. 

I don't remember making my way out of that building, nor the first few blocks, but i ran and ran and ran, i found myself in front of my childhood apartment, where my folks and little sister still resided. 

Without a second thought i made my way to the fourth floor and banged on the door.  My momma answered and when she saw me she opened her mouth to yell, but before she got a word out I dropped to my knees hugged her at the waist and wept.

I wept uncontrollably, soundlessly my mother pried my arms from her body enough to join me at kneeling level and held me tightly and began to weep herself, my face buried in her shoulder, my tears soaking her blouse as hers ran down my neck in a river.

When we finally broke free; it was then I noticed my papa and Lizzy had joined in.

It must have been some sight for the neighbors who peeked through their peepholes to see a family on their knees crying at the thresh-hold.

After dinner and hours of talking they let me stay on the couch this evening, I am very tired, it had been a long ass day, but I had to get this day on paper before a lot of it faded from memory.

Sunday September 14^th

I dreamed again, of that night of that alley, but this time it was different.

This time at the end of the alley the girl was not there, at first it was empty.  It started the same way where I ran down the dark passage unable to control my actions, reliving the evil of that night, but this time when I made it to the dead end the girl was not there.

For the first time I was able to take control.  I quickly turned around, Carlos was not there, but the dark figure was.

At first I was scared but not for long.  Instead of grabbing me he just pointed to the end of the alley.  I turned around to look at what he was pointing at and saw a being of a pure light, then I woke.

I am not sure if that figure was an angel or not, but what I was sure of that was the last night I was going to have that nightmare.  I have not come close to forgiving myself yet, but I know I am on the correct path to learn how.

My family is getting up now, I agreed to go with them to church.

------

I forgot to turn the ringer off during mass, my phone chimed in the middle of sermon, my mother almost blew an aneurism.  Forgetting how to work the damn thing I plucked out the battery.

After service I quickly excused myself and checked my messages, only my PO and my resumes have my phone number.

The only message was from the firm! They quickly explained they called the wrong person on Friday!!! I was the reason the position was no longer available because it went to me, I was not supposed to get that call and they need me to report to the office at 6AM!!!!!

In the hall of the church once again I was on my knees (the third time this weekend) when my little sister found me, I was laughing hysterically, she thought I lost it.  After I told her about the call, she fell to the floor next to me and joined in on the laughter.

I got the job!!!

 ©2013 Kinse, My Sweet Hero